`take my HAND* NEVER let go. OURblog.garethelena-

*take my HAND...

Sunday, June 17
10:47 PM

just so you know,
i just so decided to upgrade this into a google account cause blogger has been bugging me to update it everytime when i come in. wells, the email would be yours, and the password is still the same.

yesyes ((:

-pixiee

and GUIDE me thru*

*take my HAND...

Wednesday, June 28
12:21 AM

you know i relate to lyrics...
but this probably said wad you felt last time...
not trying to let you remember the past alrite. its just me.

just me.

Best Ive Ever Had (Grey sky morning)
Vertical Horizon

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I've ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I've ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had

The best I ever HAD.

(:

behind all these post.... within is not stagnent. (: it cant be.
seems like.. i cant leave it.

and GUIDE me thru*

*take my HAND...

Wednesday, March 15
11:12 AM

heyyy... pixiee here... wells... i dunno y but there's this big depression that's coming over me now.... to recall all e good good memories that we've shared... its just so amazing... :) gareth has been an awesome awesome boyfriend, no doubts about it. he's one that just makes u feel so lucky to have him... and gives in to u.. listens to ya lameness and no-funny jokes... cycles u around east coast when u cant cycle... fetches u all the way home... piggy backs u when ure tired... accompanies u everywhere even if he felt like dying when shopping with a girl... he prays for u when u need help and give u heaps of encouragement.... gives u the most wonderful vday that no one can give!! so he's really really amazing!! and i believe that God has always been with us.. everytime when we pray and even when we argue.. yupp!!
and i believe that it was God's plan that we got tog.. and i believe that He's for us breaking now too... cuz we have came to a point in thinking that there's so much in life that are left undone before we can settle down with having like one person in ya life.... and for now, we want to use our time for studies and basically time for spending time with friends! relationships can come later.... and if we are really meant to be.... we can still get tog again after 2years when i end uni and he ends ns....
im quite sure that there's no guy that can measure up to him.. and that he really really suited me damn well... but its just not the time now.. and i simply dont have much spare time and i dont want to subconsciously hurt him over and over again..... yuppp. its just soooo saddd... and i felt so badddd. AHHHHH!
during orientation i was so caught up with so many things.... and i didnt msg him and i hurt him... then as my mind started clogging up with more things to do... and friends have become a very important part of my life and suddenly i just realised that now is just the time to spend with crowds of good friends... and there's just so much more people that u have to meet in e future and so much more time to spend with friends before they gradually leave u one day... for now, ive made such wonderful and good friends from orientation.
at the end of the day, maybe gareth might just be the one for me at the end of it all... for now... we'll be the rare cases where we'll still be gooood friends even after this... yupp! actually the truth is that im better towards my friends than my boyfriend... yupp im so smiley with friends.. and for now, i guess i'll just be happy all the time... and if he has now become my friend, i'll always be there for him, as a friend.. and i'll still cont to study with him and crap with him! :) if he's fine with that...

its been awesome with you babbyyy! all the months with u... ever since the first date... to the last.. through bdaes.. christmas.. promos.. vday... and all the good happy memories... times we laughed, times we cried...

Let;s leave it to God to guide our lives now,... and let's treasure the times now... to make our tears and hurts more worth it.. love you, bestest friend.

~Long time coming - Oliver james~
Everybody wants to be loved
every once in a while
we all need someone to hold on to
just like a helpless child
yeah can you whisper in my ear
let me know it's alright

it's been a long time coming down this road
and now i know what i've been waiting for
and like a lonely highway
i'm trying to get home
ooo loves been a long time coming

you can look for a lifetime
you can love for a day
you can think you got everything but
everything is nothing when you throw it away
yeahthen you look in my eyes
and i have it all once again

it's been a long time coming down this road
and now i know what i've been waiting for
just like a lonely highway
i'm trying to get home
ooo loves been a long time coming

didn't know i was lost til you found me
didn't know i was blind but now i see

can you whisper in my ear
let me know it's alright

it's been a long time coming down this road
and now i know what i've been searching for
oh been a long long highway and
now i see

ooo loves been a long time
ooo been a long time

loves been a long time coming

and GUIDE me thru*

*take my HAND...

Tuesday, March 14
10:47 PM

We're officially not together anymore... but we're still good friends :) and i'm talking to her now.. Elena promises to be Gareth's good friend.. and I promise to be her good friend! haha.. We give our future to God... Cyaz guys who frequent our blog

and GUIDE me thru*

*take my HAND...

Thursday, March 9
8:08 PM

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Always liked this song.. and now somehow.. i can identify with this song.. this must probably be one of the worst week i had in my entire life.. filled with work and stress.. and somehow the worse part is actually..... you.. u wouldnt know how i feel this entire week.. cause u're prob just having fun and more fun.. can be seen from the blog entries u make.. somehow i keep thinking u don't need me anymore.. cause u can totally forget about me when u have ur orientation.. remember u said u wished orientation never end.. it leads me to think if orientation never ended, my relationship with u will probably just end since u wouldnt have time for me.. i know all of these are just selfish thoughts of mine.. i guess if i were u, i'd do things differently now that i know how it feels to be neglected.. i would try to talk to u somehow.. at least sms u once or twice in the course of my orientaion and not just cut u off totally.. cause that just feels pretty shitty for me now.. and even when u finally do sms in the middle of the night, the sms somehow dont seem comforting.. i've been doing a lot of thinking about us these few days.. a lot a lot of thoughts.. i can't write them here.. but yea.. i wrote this blog entry cause u wouldnt have time to talk to me.. and u can view and read this when u like... i've got to study for my GP exam tml.. school work probably just adds to everything.. when i need someone to talk to, to confide in.. no one seems there....

and GUIDE me thru*

*take my HAND...

Wednesday, March 8
12:32 AM

AHHH! im on my 2nd day like now!!! but its alrite super late... and i'll alr have to be in sch by 7 again... so must just write a quick one before i elaborate more tomorrow! yupp! today was basically super siong! went to sch and got hit by soooooo many of the balls la.... all sorts... e small basketball.. soccerball and all e icebreaker newspaper balls!! SHIT! mary tay hits damn hard and just by going there to collect my ig card.. i got hit at least 5times la... morning n my hair already screwing up!! crazyyyy.... frannie says im look like dog! LOL. had quite a fun ig bonding games session when we had tons of break today when i can spare some time to talk to them! and darcy was super friendly to nico and lionel! aka JAN TAI! hahahaha... darcy was alr super crazy during indoor games and his posi-sioonn! hahaa. indoor games were quite fun la.. cept for e one when i got super super poured to wetness by stupid BENNY BOOBOO! i only dipped him! lol... then got splashed again and again but it was super fun!! and i love jes to infinity to e power of infinity! must say more abt games tom.... all dirty and wet! and i love green tea!!!
me and jes became bimbo with giddyyy! *bimbo hug* hahah!! and he jumps with hyperness with us! haha screw army man! LOL. super cute and funnyyy! yayyy! giddy is shared by me and frannie! so its not that i only want youwei k! lol!! HAHA sheesh im becoming like franie!

oh ya.. my ig got these few problematic ones that kept zaoing that got frustrating after awhile.... but luckily we can always find them! mass dance was much better today and we had fun! everyone were tiring out alr tt sch cheers were not that ra-ra n my voice stamina was not that good that i was alr losing my voice....

during admin times... was sitting with daryl lee, jon ong and benny boo.. then me and daphne saw his little ez link and ic pic! SUPER CUTE BOY! but wad happened to his hair!!! than ben kept calling me EEEE-LEEEE-NNAA! crazy fella! lol and they kept on laughing at my retarded way when i said cjc!!! AHH! sheesh i really hope that our igs are near again la!its great that even if jon is ig29 he can still come and talk to us la! hahaa.
got stuck with suejean and heinhun there la..... they never gimme my ball.. so i was stuck at that side of e hall for sooo long than im such a loser that i cant aim for NUTS!!!! and suejean keep hitting la! and heinhun randoming hits la! stupid boy..... I KILL YOU! im strong k! actually heinhun is pronounced as hin han rite??

after the whole day.. i helped jes's class take photo! (: weiren's SHORT! hahaaha... then me and jes went CRAZYY with e shoe and phone thing!! if u have addidas and call me u get free incoming!!!!!!! and if it LOOKS like it.. u get 10min freee!!! we got super super super high that we called reag and cutie and even had conference!! and darcy answered with his stick! super super high!!! hahaha iggy's a pig and is HOT when dancing!

then had a short house meeting to the concourse! hahaa jared decides to call me chuckles!! LOL it's a cute name! first name that sounds ok! lol. *presses hairband* he's crazy! lol. then he tricked us that e concourse was already closing!!! and he worked reverse psychology! and cant balance for nuts on the problematic bus and walks like lightning sia.... lol. had such a whacky time buying the things as we talk about e weirdest things.. from hurricane kat... to chee's fossilised underwear... to happy 3friends! lol. then he ran from store to store for our materials!!! we got fangs! *cool* go jared go! lol. and e funny part is that he'll ask me "elena! can u work with this" and one time i said... I CANT WORK WITH THIS!! *SAD FACE* hahahaha..... chuckles. lol. then he too took out my hairband and wore it! GAY DUDE! and made attempts to try to put it back! ah! funny.... wells im mg girl and u must accept it! hahaha. swimming shirts looks cool~
anyways... after jared left.. rest of us went army market and got caught between a rivalry thing btwn 2stalls that really pissed me off man.. ronald was there too with odac! such waste time sia... but it was so exciting and we were running away from this aunty tat was lecturing us.. damn ass la. luckily josh was still there,, if not me kat and elissa will die k!! jared would have just punched!!!
josh is like e foreign secretary that does all e talking to foreign people! than
kat was finance minister tt was super agitated when e price kept shooting up!!
elissa's like minister of home affairs and cus im the president! hahahah... useful at times k! hahha..
jared's like minister of defence..... wells more like deputy prime minister! lol......

anyways was kinda disappointed with my house.... all e task allocated were not carried out.. n some of us are just too slacked alr! and u all must understand that we all MUST contribute and not count on those usual enthu few to get everything done! cuz i too am burning out.. and some of us are running out of patience abt this kinda stupid thing.. so please get ya tasks done efficiently! or at least all i ask is to GET IT DONE! SHIT. ok... im tired

tata~ :)

and GUIDE me thru*

*take my HAND...

Tuesday, March 7
11:00 PM

heyyyy! ahh super tired! and every other facils are probably sleeping now! hahaha. but i guess i wana just write sth first...

shall start from day1 of OXYGEN! which is O2 rite! LOL for 02. yuppp! was super tired in e morning!!! duno how to be enthu later man.... than e turf city ulu busstop came which i so want the bus to miss so i can get to sch faster!!! then noe who came aboard.... edwin! lol. he's damn fishy! cuz his eyes are super swollen! HAHA! n blurrr... so we started crapping like hell.. lol and we'll always argue whether sji guys are seriously retarded or not.. and he'll just b ignorant when i say elena's nice! hahaa. so we rushed passed the overbridge! and he still dare tell me that we were not late! ahh!!!! than last min he just dash to e hall! so i'll be later! sheesh man.....

my dear LUPOrions were looking for me alr! hahaa. then i distributed their kickass tags that i did for them!! HOT PINK on blue! ahhh! it rocks k, thaddyy bear! LOL! then everyone showed their appreciation cuz i woke up at 230 to do it for them! it was perfect man! stupid bose... still wanted to find flaws in e tags! I'LL KILL HIM! so i used "jared" to hit him! HAHAH! so me and gouw collected our ig cards and all... assembled and prepare for e little j1s! SO EXCITING!
when e j1s came in they were like super scared of us! ahaha usual la. then... we had this race to see who's class can assemble first!! but shit! after like 5min i still had 0people! ZERO! than franie, daryl lee and jon ong keep suaning me!!! AHHH! cuz they;re classes were lining up fast! and if it was going slow its me who's scaring them off!!! rubbishyy le guys! wells... then i got my first girl! gabrielle! such a sweet name! and she's a really nice girl too! (:
when all e j1s have assembled... mr leong came to stage! and called himself taufik. *PANGS* lol. so we had quite intro when we all sneaked to e back of the hall! then me and jes started screaming cuz we're really good bimbo friends!! *muacks* that grossed weiren out! but e more we did it in front of him! HAs! there was an opening item!!! they were singing the bsb song 'i want it that way' but substituting e words!!! hahaa firstly it was alr off tune! than tempo tooo! but just when u feel that it was not gona make it! e facils go up and hacked the music and did their own thing!~~~ damn funnnyyyy~ ahaa iggy was dancing away while queen was soooo cute! lyrics are damn lame! *...i'm sure u're gona have fun. cool and hot, u're sure gona love mass dance....... all facils are here to say... WELCOME TO CJ!* super retarded but that's just us!
then we all, all e facils, ran into e hall! and i was screaming like some stupid retarded facil.. and we all did e mass dance! damn fun! when e bungla started... all e j1s from 1st intake started cheering us on! that dance is a cj tradition evy yr during orientation and it rocks!!! yuppp! n claudio!! u ahhhh! told u to get tighter pants! lol.

anyways... after that went to settle some icebreakers logistics! and u dont only use ice and chezel... AH! ben was doing them too! we were both brainstorming for characters for e guess name game!! then there were e most retarded characters.... when he wrote a 'myself' in e paper.... TOLD U SJI GUYS ARE LAME! super lameeee! that one who gets that is gona be super unlucky! later, jon ong says it was his idea,... but that didnt change my statement.. sji guys are STILL lamers... but i was too desperate so i wrote 'myself' too! >.<>

then we had to split the ig.. josh brought e half to register for course whereas e rest to stay in e hall for bro paul's talk... ahh! loooooooong! so weiren stayed behind too! lol. we slouched down knowing abt e draggy time ahead! HAHA! he's a tutu! cuz his ig is 22!!! tututututu! went out to do my paper ball for e games... and unfortunately saw edwin!!!! sheesh! no matter where he throws.. the ball hits me!!! damn! no loser k! just got hit all 4 throws.

and when i came back i ended up sitting with queen! lol. we had suchh a whacky time during e talk.. lol. queen's super cutee! she's so jumpy when we were dancing! we were crapping so much with gidman! haha... we were seeing his picture! his bro's ok but wad happened to him!!! hahaa gidman's pweetyy rite!! lol. anyways i give him e pouting lips face! and he burst out laughing...... lol. then we both started doing e pouting lips! ofcourse doesnt mean anything!! then i asked him whether he made his ball for e game.. and he got super super super super super super sick!!!!! he said he got and even have EXTRA!!! AH! crazyy... i throw a ball at him and it got lost.... so i kept on asking him where is it.. and he just keeps on looking for it at e wrong place!! sick shit! how he did it was ultra funnyy! than he can even lend weiren one of his.... dettachable sia.. but must clean first... AH! then.. queen was tired but rejected his shoulders!! WAHAH! so he turned gay with weiren! then.. i finally realised that weiren wore braces! haha so gidman bacame extra la! lololololol.

then we met our igs! gouw is always being super longwinded.... and everytime when i want to talk.. he'll ask me to shuddup. sian. but e ig is basically very quiet.... it's always me gouw and stellie making noise only... wells.. they're just not warmed up yet i thought! i guess 02 are always lidat.. wells we must not lose hope! ya!
mass dance didnt go on well too i guess... we had too many guys that even e facils must become e girl!!! jon ong!! HAHA! benny's useless la! my guy didnt want to dance at first but he did try in e end! very good! (:

during e j1 debrief... me and jes went madddd! AHA AHA! cuz we're so cute together!! all e facils looked at me when mr leong called e j1s in blue smurfs... but im e authentic smurfs cuz i shortest! HAHAH! she called me smurfiee!!! that we went high when we started creating funny phrases... jes says "elena's the smallest smurf on earth!" that rhythms! than i say "i'm e smallest smurf on earth, especially perth!" AHA AHA! than jes became perfieeee! so she's a perfette! :) then hafiz was our murfieee!!!! SOOOOO CUTE!!!!! hafiz must accept! then... now! ben is burfieeee! and you wei's YOUURRRFIEE!! he's a you-fatteee! HAHA! super high!! oh!! FRANIE's FURFIEEEEEE! but not fluffy! AHA AHA! super super high... im e first smurf! then... jes is e first leap of evolution! AHA!........... then keerthi just comes and make fun...he says im e mother of all bugs la! stupid and went to kill my friends!! and he also hit 2 girls with one ball! and that's not skillful but SICK. so me and jes took revenge! AHAH! i hit both keerthi and gidman! AHA!

during admin and wrapup we played the fishing game with e hands n words game... i only got caught TWICE and keerthi keep saying i got 5times!!!!! HEYYY! so i make noise.. until santos used my name in his lame storyyy.. then when he ask whether got anyone with 5times... ALL THE FACILS AROUND ME SAID ELENAAAA! stupid keerthi!!! must influence all!! so i got saboed up!!! AHH! franie tooo!! then we must do little teapot with e song!! and i DO need to squart! and tey are same level as me i noe! LOL.

after facil debrief we just rested on each other and people were alr sleeping.. tiong says im heavy... its ben ok!!! he went to take my hairband and wear it!! gay dude! i went to play soccer with them and gana bullied......... keerthi dont wana gimme ball! and all e balls all hit me! even stupid josh! but i got e ball from jon ong! HAA!
Had lupo meeting after that.. and ben had a nice name... BENNY BOO BOO!! yayyy! so cute! then he kinda went to sleep during meeting even if he had training later! jared rushed to us.. and rushed off again! he leads a super sadd rushed life big dude! we had a good brainstorming session :) and greyham and darcy said weird things to me......

this is JUST e first day... oh damn! ;)

and GUIDE me thru*